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When I got pregnant with my second child, my daughter Keira, I wanted a home birth, but did not know where to look or to whom I could go. My insurance did not cover home birth and I ended up having a second hospital birth. When I found out I was pregnant with my third child I dreamed again of a home birth, but never looked into it seriously because I felt it would not be financially smart to pay out of pocket.
During the last part of my second trimester my daughter Keira had a severe diaper chemical burn reaction. Her poor bottom peeled like a bad sunburn, and her entire body got extremely dry also. My daughter’s pediatrician said I needed to change diapers. I was upset by the pain my daughter was in and I decided I would use cloth diapers for my children. I knew nothing about cloth diapering, and to be honest the process of washing them terrified me. I searched Google and found a couple of local ladies who sold cloth diapers from their homes and through their websites. Christy from Gorgeous and Green had a daughter who was five months at the time when I made my diaper purchases. We talked while I was there and she told me how her daughter was born at home. I was 30 weeks pregnant by this time and the desire for a home birth grew stronger. A couple of weeks later I was at her house again to buy more diapers, and I asked again about her home birth experience. She gave me the name of her midwife and told me not to hesitate to call her because she was wonderful.
I went home and that night I told my husband about the conversation with Christy. He said I should at least call the midwife and see if she even had any spots available in her schedule. I prayed she would not be booked, because I really did not want to worry about my other children while I was in a hospital, and who would be available to take care of them if I went into labor. I dialed the midwife and told her I was referred by Christy. She asked me a lot of questions and said she would love to meet with me and my husband. I was almost at 35 weeks in my pregnancy by now and we were cutting it close. She normally wanted more time to get to know a patient’s body, but I was a great home birth candidate with a perfect pregnancy. The next week we had a three hour meeting with her and we finalized all the details. I finally would have the birth one of my babies in my way and on my terms. No one would yell at me and be rude. No one would bully me into interventions I did not want, and I could birth my baby, keep her always by my side, sleep in my own bed, eat my own food, and not stress about what I would do with my children.
Happy and at peace I got my home birth items I would need on hand like extra towels, bed sheets, the medical kit, and many other items. It was fun to know I did not need to worry about getting to the hospital on time. I nearly had my daughter Keira in our car on the way to the hospital, and my midwife on-call for my daughter’s birth was unfriendly and treated me like I was an idiot who did not know her own body. The experience as a whole was stressful and not one I wanted to repeat, and I might as well had a physician do it.
I am thankful that even with the horrible chemical diaper skin burn my daughter had that God made something good come out of the bad experience. Everything happens for a reason and buying cloth diapers crossed my paths with Christy who is now a good friend of mine and the reason I had a home birth. Everything in life happens for a reason and I finally got my peaceful home birth.
If you live in an unfriendly home birth state like I do, finding a home birth midwife will be more difficult because they operate in the grey area of the law, and must do home birth under radar of general public. Here is a list of people who can help you find or contact a home birth midwife:
- Local Doulas
- Birth Class Educators
- Local Cloth Diapering Owners
- Search out local birthing groups on Facebook to find a midwife who does home births.
Home birth is not for everyone, but not all births need be in a hospital either. Many factors must be considered for each individual case. Consult with a number of valid resources before making a decision. To hear more about my home birth experience come back for my next post on this topic about the story and birth of my beautiful daughter Ayla.
XOXO,
Amee
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Hello my name is Monique Fisher I am 24 years old (on October 21st) I am 14 weeks pregnant and day 0. My giving due date was April 13th 2020 but after my sonogram the doctors say from the size my due date will be April 9th. I receive Medicare amerihealth for insurance and is current unemployed. I will have a job before October Is over. I have been researching and calling around to see if I can qualify for a midwife/doula that certified for home birth. I’m hoping someone here can help me or guide me to a resource that can help me. I don’t know where to start
I found you through a linky party and am so happy I did! When I read the first paragraph, it was like I had written it in the future – I really want a home birth, I cloth diaper, and I want to name my 2nd child Keira! Thank you so much for the tips!!
Hi Rebecca,
So glad you found me and enjoyed my post. If you ever have any questions please feel free to contact me I know a tons of other mamas who had home births too.
I was high risk so home birth was out of the question, my concern was the drugs. Not that I fault anyone who chooses to medicate, I’ve known many who have and years later are healthy. I did however opt to use hypnobirthing…the high risk doctor that I picked was open to and familiar with hypnobirthing…it was a beautiful birthing experience. I love the doctors that helped me with my 2nd. I will forever owe a debt of gratitude…after a late term loss and giving birth to my oldest daughter at 23 weeks they discovered that I was funneling, which, is normal part of pregnancy around 34 weeks. I think what you said “consult with a number of valid resources before making a decision.” is an excellent suggestion, and even if a hospital is needed for medical reasons you can make a birthing plan and give it to the hospital…that is what I did. After the nightmare of losing a baby and delivering so early, I made sure that everyone knew my wishes. I put it in writing, discussed it with my doctor and made copies posted it on the wall. I also made sure the nurses were clear. I too also had it MY WAY at a hospital. Excellent post…this is such an important topic. WE HAVE CHOICES!
Hi Amy,
Yes not all births are meant for home and I am truly sorry to hear about your loss. My first pregnancy, with my son Tristan was definetly not a home birth option as I was induced early because of placental abruption issues. From 30 weeks on I had to have two ultra sounds a week so I understand having a high risk pregnancy too. Having a birth plan written out is a very good tip and thing to do. I did do this with my son and my daughter Keira and had something similar to a birth plan I called a “Transfer Plan.”. Basically, the same, but if I was transferred it was because I needed the help of the hospital and the care it can provide if I was in trouble.
I have heard of hypno-birthing, but do not know much about it. I wonder if what I did was similar? I will have to read up on it. I am thankful you got the birth you wanted your way because having a baby is one of the most important moments in a woman’s life and I want any woman to remember the experience as positively joyful!
Thank you for stopping by and again I am sorry that you lost a child.
Hugs, Amee
I’m trying to find a midwife for a home birth, but I need one that takes sooner care. I live in the Oklahoma area, and most of them that I’ve tried to talk to don’t take insurance.
Yes, sadly most of them do not take insurance, even in many other areas. Perhaps this will change in the future.
We love homebirth! I’ve had seven! 🙂
So happy you got the birth you wanted!
Hello,
WOW 7 God Bless you! Thank you I count my many blessings with how it all worked out.
Amee